by Mark Goldwich
Today, my 13-year old son is getting 4 teeth extracted to
make room for wisdom teeth and braces, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t
really know all the reasons why, that is just what both the dentist and the
oral surgeon say needs to be done, so I am trusting their advanced degrees. I have no doubt it will be an extremely unpleasant experience
for all involved, especially for my son. We have known about it for some
time, it has even been postponed at least once, yet everyone is still nervous,
anxious, and dreading this day, and the next few days to follow.
So it got me to thinking about the origin of this phrase. My research
suggests the earliest found uses in the 1830s, and generally means “extremely
difficult” or “stubborn”, and referred to the difficulty found in people giving
up information or money. An example from 1831 published in the Foreign
Missionary Register of The American Baptist Missionary Magazine (Vol.
12, October 1832, No. 10), in the 23rd October 1831 entry of Mr. Judson's
Journal: “When any person is known to be considering the new religion, all his
relations and acquaintance — rise en masse; so that to get a new
convert is like pulling out the eye-tooth of a live tiger.” Or in 1836 Knickerbocker:
“And for this service to the sons, what did I get from the sires? The pittance
of a few dollars, which came like pulling so many teeth.”
Image courtesy of intelligentdental.com |
For as long as dentistry has been around, pulling teeth has
been a painful and distasteful experience.
And so the same is true for many
people when it comes to rendering money or information. At least nowadays, there
is nitrous oxide and other forms of anesthesia to ease the pain
(at least during the teeth-pulling process). Unfortunately, as my son can
attest now that the teeth are pulled, there is little that can be done to make
the whole teeth-pulling ordeal completely free of discomfort. On the way home
from the dentist, while still feeling the effects of the nitrous, he asked if
we could come back tomorrow because “it was fun” and “only took 5 minutes” (it
was an hour). Well, it has all worn off, and he has absolutely no interest in
going back tomorrow for more “fun”. Or ever.
But what in the world does this have to do with insurance? You see, it has long been my theory
that insurance companies deliberately want to make the claim process as
difficult and distasteful as possible, mainly because it often ends with the
insurance company making a payment. Even if they don’t make a payment, they
certainly don’t want you to leave with the notion that, “Hey, that was
great, I can’t wait to do that again!” This only makes sense, especially when you
consider that every dollar they pay out on a claim, is one less dollar for the
bottom line. And again, even if no money is paid, simply considering a claim
comes at a cost for the insurance company, which also
negatively affects the bottom line.
When you think about it, they have to walk a pretty fine
line. They want their claim service to be highly regarded, for claim personnel
to be friendly, knowledgeable and accurate, and to have (relatively) few
complaints. Yet they don’t want people beating a path to their doors (premium
paying doors yes, but not the one where claims submitted ).
So what do they do? They have trained people to practice smiling
while they answer phones, because they have been told by consultants that
“smiles can be heard over the phone”. Their people are trained in customer
service to have numerous word-tracks at their fingertips to keep customers calm,
patient, and understanding as they are being “handled”. They set up
numerous layers (agents, desk examiners, field adjusters, independent
adjusters, supervisors) such that each person can say they are doing what they
can for the customer, even when the end result is negative. It’s like a
bullet-proof vest that is made up of very thin layers of material, each of
which on its own could not stop a bullet, but when combined together are able
to diffuse the energy of the bullet, and stop it cold.
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In this way, extracting money, and sometimes information,
from an insurance company is a lot like extracting teeth. It can be an
emotionally charged, painful process, which even if successful, leaves a bad
taste in your mouth, with no desire to repeat the procedure anytime soon. The
process also tends to get people frustrated, particularly if they were not
prepared for the ordeal. This makes them much more likely to exit the process with less money, or
no money at all, just as suggested in an 1855 quote from Godey's Lady's Book for October, 1855:
"Some people it's like pulling teeth to collect from; they dodge and
shuffle, and ask me to call again, until sometimes I am quite out of
patience."
In my years of helping people with insurance claims, I have had
several who were not just willing, but eager to accept less money, sometimes a
lot less money, just to be through with the claim process, or “ordeal” as they
would call it. In most cases, I could get the policyholders to stick it out
with me, letting them know I would not give up on them, if they would not give
up on themselves. A few times, nothing I could say would change their minds –
their will was broken.
One such case in particular was a woman who lost not only
her home of over 40 years to a fire, but she lost her husband of over 45 years
to that same fire. With the home a total loss, the insurance company had no
choice but to pay her policy limit on the structure. But when it came to her
(and her husband’s) personal belongings, they required she detail each and
every item the two of them purchased, collected, and possessed during the past
40+ years. It was a painstaking and emotionally painful process, and they
offered no assistance, even considering her state of mind. When all she could
do was recall about $50,000 dollars worth, they depreciated it all and paid her
about $35,000, or about half of her $75,000 limit for contents.
They were nice enough about it, even telling her that if she
could think of more items, all she would have to do is submit that as well, but
now they would require proof of ownership of any additional items. I assured
her she would not have to prove everything as they were saying, and that I
would be willing to sit with her and help her remember and document additional
items, even those over her policy limits so she could claim those amounts on
her taxes as an uninsured loss, but to no avail. Basically, they presented her
with the idea of having more teeth pulled, and my offer of anesthesia was not
enough to dull the pain.
Sometimes in life you have to go through things that are not
pleasant. Whether it is having teeth pulled, or dealing with an insurance
claim, try to keep in mind you’ll survive both. And in either case, I recommend
the laughing gas.
Mark Goldwich is president of Gold Star Adjusters, a group of public insurance adjusters dedicated to helping citizens get the maximum settlement for any insurance claim.